Help! Baby Stole My Brain Cells!

…as with anything, there are people who do not believe in the memory loss of pregnancy. These doubting Thomases say that the woman is simply not paying attention. -Placentia Brains, by Robin Elise Weiss

Having no co-ordination, being unreasonably emotional, and losing essential IQ points are -I can now report from experience- not always controllable and certainly not mythological side-effects of pregnancy. (Our male dominated world needs everything to be scientifically proven – and it reminds me of scientists saying women don’t actually bloat during PMS. We don’t need a man to tell us whether or not we bloat! We bloat!). I always knew I would give up a chunk-o-qi by having a child, but I never realized how stupid and unable to focus I would become. During this time when we’re struggling through so much, we don’t need the world to tell us we’re just not concentrating, we’re blaming things on our pregnancy, or that we’re imagining it!

The brains of pregnant women appear to shrink during late pregnancy, according to research which offers an explanation for cognitive problems some women complain of before and after giving birth. The doctors at the Royal Postgraduate Medical School in London found that it can take up to six months for the women’s brains to regain their full size. -The (London) Independent

As with many side-effects, most reports mention brain cell lose (so to speak) more towards the end of the third trimester. I will state right now – this has not been communicated to my body. My body jumped on board ASAP; within two months adding 25 pounds (we’re up to 40 already at month 6), releasing the ligaments by the fifth month (we’ll talk pubis symphosis hell later), had me bumping into walls within two weeks, and left me practically brain-dead from the get-go.

When the study was extended to healthy women, it was found that brain shrinkage appeared to be a normal feature of pregnancy. The investigators believe that the brain changes are more likely to be the result of changes in the volume of individual cells rather than in the quantity of brain cells, Dr Holdcroft told the magazine. In addition, the team found that the pituitary gland, which lies at the base of the brain, showed the opposite effect – increasing in size during pregnancy, when it is responsible for producing reproductive hormones – and then diminishing in size in the months after pregnancy. -The (London) Independent

I have to remind myself three or four times what I want to remember. For example: There are three things you need to bring with you today; don’t forget, three things; three things…. Because I can not recall the three things for that long of a time, I must keep that in the background, and then before leaving go through what three things they could have possibly been. Every prenatal appointment I’ve had, I planned on leaving the day before. Since it’s a 2 hours drive I’m glad my boyfriend caught it. I have driven the wrong way down a one-way street twice. And explaining to the judge why I parked in the wrong spot because I was pregnant didn’t go over very well – though she did reduce the fee by $25 … and thankfully I didn’t burst into tears in court. (This chick blogged about a few funny incidents and comments on her Mandeeland site and Dot.Moms has some useful tips on what to expect out of “pregnancy brain”.) I won’t even get into how much energy it takes to write and spell, as I generate at least two typos per sentence and my train of thought is just that, a train, leaving the station…wait for meeee!

There is a paranoia that occurs -perhaps more so for women whose dream in life wasn’t necessarily just to have kids, be mom and loving wife, etc.- that they will now be stupid for the rest of their lives…. It’s like getting injured, where you wonder if you will ever be the same again. All I can hope for is that my body, as quickly as it manifested the  changes necessaryto help create this creature, will revert me back to the way I was. Okay, sure, I will be distracted, have a new focus, be a new person, but at least give me enough brain cells to not be driving the wrong way down the friggin’ road! I’m assuming such activity antithetical to the survival of my offspring, and nature will (please, g-d!) balance it all out accordingly. ‘Til then, I’ll try to keep it simple.